Distraction: The Truth
by MireliAmbar
Summary: Direct follow on from 'Distraction'. The long-distance relationship between Bann Teagan and Lydia Cousland has a few bumps on the way, Rating changed to M.
1. Chapter 1

_This is a direct follow on from a one-shot I wrote called 'Distraction'. My thanks to the people who've reviewed, story alerted and favourited that story. I have a feeling this story may be more than just a three or four part story..._ Enjoy :)!

* * *

**Distraction part II: The Truth**

Teagan Guerrin watched his immobile brother being healed by the circle mage. You could hardly call it healing when no response was to be had, Teagan thought dispiritedly. He sat with his head leaning against the back of the chair in the far corner of Eamon's bedroom. His thoughts drifted back to the person he had tried not to think about all day. No word yet again, no letter and no messenger. It had been almost eight weeks since Lydia, Alistair and the group had left Redcliffe to go and find the Urn of Sacred Ashes. In that time, Lydia and Teagan had written to each other, her saying where they were headed next so that letters may reach her. How long had it been since her last letter? She said they had just arrived at Haven, after a wild goose chase that had led them all over Ferelden. Three weeks, he realised. It seemed a lifetime away and he was starting to worry. He was debating sending some of the Redcliffe knights to track them down if there was no word by the end of the week. Just a few words maker, please he thought. Then he realised what he was doing and nearly laughed aloud. This woman has me praying for her! Maker knows what Isolde would say were she still alive, he thought. She would have dragged me straight to the Chantry, thinking it was a miracle at least one of her husband's family were religious.

The door opened and in walked Connor, his brother's son. In the almost two months since Isolde's death, uncle and nephew had grown closer. Teagan noticed the young boy beginning to flourish away from the overprotective wings of his mother. However, that didn't change the fact that Connor would have to leave Redcliffe to go to the circle tower. If Eamon didn't survive, Teagan would have to make that difficult decision. How different would he be from Eamon, sending Alistair away all those years ago?

Connor stood watching the rituals the mage performed and then walked over to Teagan.

'Uncle Teagan?'

'Yes, Connor?'

'Have you heard anything from Auntie Lydia today?' Connor asked hopefully, as he always did, every few days.

Teagan realised his thoughts were becoming maudlin and a darkened sick room was not the place for a young boy, even if it was his father who was ill. He stood and touched him on the shoulder.

'No letter so far. I promise when I hear something you'll be the first to know.' Teagan smiled. 'Now, how about that chess re-match I promised you?'

'Yeah! And this time, I bet I'll beat you!' Connor smiled and led the way out of the room.

'I have no doubt that you will.'

* * *

They were sat in Eamon's study playing chess when Alice, one of the new servants walked into the room.

'Knock Alice, please!' Teagan tried not to smile at Alice's haste as she came barrelling red-faced, through the door. She had only worked at the castle a few weeks and there was a lot she had to learn.

'Oh! Sorry ser, just it's a letter come for you by messenger. Ser.' Alice added. She curtseyed at the door and walked to the desk. Teagan took the missive from the nervous servant and waited for her to leave.

'That will be all, thank you Alice.' She curtseyed and backed out of the doorway, nearly tripping over the edge of the door on the way out.

Teagan opened the seal on the letter and he swallowed hard as he saw Lydia's neat script on the page.

Teagan,

We are coming back to Redcliffe. We have the ashes, having found the Urn. I hope that everyone in Redcliffe is well. We should be about a day behind the messenger.

Yours,

Lydia

'Well Uncle?' Connor said, trying to read the letter upside down.

'Lydia should be back tomorrow.' Teagan smiled.

Barely were the words out of his mouth than Connor cheered. 'Yay! Auntie Lydia and Angus are coming back!' He ran round the desk and hugged his uncle in such a spontaneous display of emotion that Teagan was surprised. There had been little enough for this child to smile over for the last few months.

* * *

'Bann Teagan, the grey wardens have arrived, ser.'

'Thank you Jameson. See them in.' It was mid-afternoon of the following day and Teagan had been waiting to hear those words all day. Now she was here, the nerves had set in. He was trying not to stare as Lydia and the rest of the group walked into the Great Hall. Blessed Maker, he had forgotten how beautiful she was. Although she was wearing her leather armour, her long brown hair was plaited and worn over one shoulder, providing the perfect view of her neck and décolletage. His mind began to wander before he realised that as the host, he was supposed to be welcoming the group.

He stepped forward and took her hand in his, bending to kiss her hand. He thought he felt her flinch at his touch. Surely not?

'Lydia.'

'Bann Teagan.' Lydia's voice was so icy, he raised an eyebrow at her quizzically. That's when he saw how pale and exhausted she looked.

'Auntie Lydia!' Connor ran across the room from where he'd been stood, and she crouched to hug him.

'Connor! Have you been a good boy?' Connor nodded.

'Did you bring the ashes to heal my father?' Connor said.

Teagan looked at her face, her eyes bright with sudden fear.

'We're going to help your father, I promise.'

* * *

Teagan and Lydia stood in Eamon's bedroom, watching the healer perform the ritual. For the first time in months, Teagan saw his brother respond. He let out a sigh of relief, not realising he had been holding his breath.

'Teagan!' Eamon's voice was barely a rasp. 'But where is Isolde and Connor?' Teagan moved next to his brother's bed, barely noticing Lydia leave.

'Connor is waiting to see you as soon as we've spoken.'

'And Isolde?'

'We have a lot to talk about brother.'

* * *

An hour later, Teagan stood on the balcony that opened off the Great Hall. He watched the town and the people of Redcliffe, feeling a pang of envy for the simplicity of their lives. He gripped the stone rail tightly, grinding his hands on the rough rock, using the dull pain as a way to drive out the thoughts of his conversation with Eamon. No-one should have to tell their own kin that their wife was dead. Nor how she died. He watched Eamon run the gamut of every emotion. He knew that Eamon and Isolde had not been close since her pious attitude and over protectiveness towards Connor had eroded their relationship but she had been his wife and Eamon still loved her, that was for certain. He had not seen Eamon cry since their father died when they were children so to see Eamon sobbing for his wife, although not at all unexpected, had been unsettling. He sighed and heard the door open to the balcony as he looked round. Lydia's eyes met his and she seemed surprised to see him there.

'Oh! Bann Teagan, I'm sorry I'll go.' Lydia looked shocked as if she had intruded on an intimate moment. She turned, her leather boots squeaking on the smooth stone floor.

'No, stay please Lydia.' He crossed over to the door. 'I don't want to be alone with my thoughts right now.' He could tell by the look on her face that information had surprised her.

'Bann Teagan, I'm not sure I'm such good company for you at the moment either.'

'I don't understand why you're suddenly so formal with me.' He opened his hands, wanting so much to reach out to her.

Her eyes welled with tears. 'I need to go. Excuse me.'

Teagan watched her leave and he sat heavily on a stone seat, his need to follow her extinguished by her iciness. What, by Andraste's holy knickers was _wrong_ with the woman?

* * *

That night they held a dinner to thank the wardens group for saving Redcliffe and healing Arl Eamon. That had been no small feat. The group seemed in jovial spirits, although so far there was no sign of Lydia. Teagan was beginning to wonder if the dress he had put on her bed as a present had been too much, if he had scared her away. He was talking to Alistair when he heard the room go much quieter. There, by the door was Lydia wearing the emerald green dress he had gifted to her, her dark hair loose over the shoulders. He heard Alistair mutter under his breath. Teagan heard a wolfwhistle, from Zevran, one of the new recruits. He saw Lydia blush slightly. Teagan ignored the slight tang of jealousy and intercepted her.

'You look gorgeous in that dress.' Teagan said in a low voice.

'I.. Thank you but there was no need.' She said, blushing again.

'As the leader of the group who saved Redcliffe and who helped bring my brother back to consciousness, there is every need. I owe you a debt of honour that I can barely hope to re-pay.' He smiled and faced the rest of the group.

'Come my friends, let us feast. As my way of saying thank you for healing my brother and rescuing the town of Redcliffe, consider yourselves always welcome in Redcliffe Castle.' Teagan turned back to Lydia and put his arm out and she held onto it. He led her to the top of the table and pulled a chair out for Lydia to sit down. She nodded and smiled slightly. He sat at the head of the table next to her, in his brother's absence.

Leliana was sat to Teagan's left with Lydia on his right and Zevran and the rest of the group spread out down the table. Most of the group were in excellent spirits and due to become even more cheerful when they went to the Tavern after the meal. Teagan had backed out. As his brother's stand in, he wasn't sure he should go. Lydia had also decided not to go with them, claiming tiredness as an excuse. There were a few raised eyebrows as Lydia said this and some pointed looks in Teagan's direction but Lydia kept her eyes down. During the meal, she spoke little enough to be polite but not enough be friendly to him. He was puzzled by her behaviour, her change towards him.

While Lydia was talking to Zevran, he started speaking to Leliana and realised what an interesting person she was. He also understood very quickly exactly how much she knew about Teagan and Lydia's relationship, if you could call one night together and some letters a relationship.

'Your family knew Lydia's family, am I right?' Leliana said quietly to him.

'Yes, pre-Blight and poisonings of course. It's such a shame about what happened to her family.' He motioned towards Lydia who was engrossed in a conversation with Zevran about his past in Antiva. She laughed and Teagan found he was watching her ease with the rogue rather than his lovely companion. Leliana seemed not to mind.

'Lydia told me that her father and the Arl were looking into an arranged marriage for the two of you.' Leliana smiled a mischievous smile and ran her finger round the rim of the wine glass.

'Ah, I see where this is going, Leliana.' Teagan chuckled.

'Really Bann Teagan, I have no idea what you mean.' Leliana looked at him innocently. 'I simply meant to say that the Maker seems to have a hand in your relationship.'

Teagan looked at her sharply, not sure he had a relationship. Their conversation continued, moving onto other subjects. As soon as the toasts had been made and the dinner ended, he saw Lydia get up to leave, excusing herself as she walked over to the balcony door.

Teagan watched her go and was so deep in thought, he barely registered that Leliana had even spoken to him, until she touched his hand.

'Go to her, you both need to talk.'

'Lydia has made it quite plain she does not want to speak to me.' Teagan slumped back in his chair.

Leliana shook her head. 'I hate to break a promise to such a good friend as Lydia but I have a excellent reason. There's something you should know...'

* * *

A few minutes later, Teagan excused himself and walked over to the balcony door. It was still unlocked so he quietly opened the door. Lydia stood in exactly the same spot as he had earlier. She stared out looking at the town below, yet not seeing anything. Teagan closed the door silently behind him but not quietly enough as Lydia whipped round.

'Bann Teagan, please just let me be.' Her voice was weary but with a trace of anger. He felt his anger rise at her constant rebuffal of him.

'No, Lady Cousland.' His voice was sarcastic and hard. 'The time for you being alone is over.'

In the dimly reflected light from the hall, he saw her turn to face him as he moved next to her.

'How many times do I have to tell you I am NOT Lady Cousland!' Her voice rose as they faced each other, barely a foot between them.

'And how many times do I have to tell you that Bann Teagan is only a title. My name is Teagan, something you were quite aware of when I bedded you!' He heard her gasp as he continued on 'Maker's breath Lydia, you can be so damn stubborn at times. Fergus was right!'

The slap when it came was hard and not, he realised, totally unexpected. I deserved that, he thought as the burning pain hit his skin in the cool night air. He caught hold of her hand to make sure she didn't go for a second round.

'How dare you mention my brother's name when I don't know if he's even alive!' Her voice changed to a pained whisper at the end which made him unhappy at what he had said. He knew he had handled this all wrong. His usual charm made him feel like a bumbling teenager around this woman.

'I'm sorry I shouldn't have –'

'Enough.' She wrenched her hand free from his hold and strode to the door. He had to stop her or they would never sort this out.

Teagan took three long steps and leapt in front of the door, pulled her resisting frame to him. As he kissed her, he thought she was going to slap him at first and she did say something but what she said was lost as they kissed. He knew she was enjoying it by the noises she was making so he moved his hand behind him and _CLICK_, turned the key in the lock.

That was when it dawned on her what he'd done. She pulled herself out of his arms and yelled 'You Bastard!' at him.

'Now, now, is that anyway for a lady to behave?' Teagan smiled, taking the key out of the door.

'Give me the key.' Lydia held her hand out to him and used her group leader voice.

'I don't think so. In fact, to make sure you don't escape I'm going to do this.' He walked forward and threw the key off the balcony. They both heard a _splosh_ as it hit the water below.

'You idiot! Why would you throw the _key_ in the water?' She rushed over to the edge of the balcony but it was far too late.

Teagan walked to the back wall and sat on a stone bench.

'I did it to make you listen to me. If locking you in a room with no way out is the only way to do it, then I will happily throw away as many keys as it takes.' He watched her pace the room like a caged animal.

'I can climb through the window.' She pointed above his head at the narrow pane of glass, the width of which would barely fit a skinny child, never mind a full grown woman.

He laughed. 'You'd get stuck.'

She threw him an irritated look and walked over to the rail.

'And don't think you're throwing yourself off the balcony. You're not getting out of this that easily.' Teagan watched her lean over the top of the rail as if seriously considering the jump, her long brown hair streaming out in front of her in the breeze. She walked back over to the door and rattled it again.

'Don't you think it's time to tell me what's going on, Lydia?' He said in a more kindly voice.

'Teagan, you can be so _bloody_ annoying at times!' Lydia sat dejectedly next to him but not too close he noticed.

'Why didn't you tell me you collapsed in camp a few weeks ago and you've been ill ever since?'

She stared hard at Teagan 'Who told you?'

'Leliana.' He saw no reason to hide the truth and Leliana would probably confess her reasoning to Lydia.

'I might have known since you were so friendly with each other tonight.' Lydia leant forward putting her head in her hands.

'Why are you jealous, Lydia? I was simply talking to her because the beautiful woman sat on my right seemed to be pointedly ignoring me all night. What was I to do?' Teagan grinned at her jealousy and put his hand on the small of her back. She didn't move away this time.

'I can understand Leliana being worried about you. That's why she told me.'

Lydia wiped her eyes with the side of her hand. Teagan moved her curtain of hair gently away from the side of her face and tucked it behind her ear.

'It was about two weeks ago. We were near Haven when I fainted after tea in the campsite. That caused a stir and the next thing I knew, Alistair was carrying me into Wynne's tent.' She paused and carried on looking at her feet. 'We talked for a bit and she asked me some questions about my monthly cycle.' She blushed slightly as she said this. 'I didn't realise until then but... I'm carrying your child.'

Lydia turned to look at him. He wasn't sure he'd heard her right.

'Maker's Breath! Are you sure?' Teagan exhaled.

'I've been feeling sick a lot, I have sore breasts and I'm much more emotional than usual.'

Of course, he thought. That would explain her asking for water to drink instead of wine and the lack of appetite. Teagan had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach and felt as if he'd been punched in the gut.

'I need some air.' He stood up and walked shakily over to the balcony edge. He remembered that when he was younger, Eamon would tease his younger brother about his reputation, he probably had illegitimate children in every bannorn in Ferelden. Yet as far as he knew this was not the case. This was the first time he had ever got a woman pregnant. Out of all the people it could be, the Champion of Redcliffe too. All through a one night stand. How stupid he'd been! He rubbed his head as if it would magic the impending headache away. Yet if he was so stupid and he hated the idea, why was he also grinning inanely?

'I'll go. Forget I told you. You don't need to be involved in this child's life.' Turning round he saw her stand up and make her way across to the exit. He watched Lydia frantically trying to open the door, tears streaming down her face.

He walked over to her, dragging her away from the door. She sobbed violently into his chest. When her tears had subsided, he lifted her chin and kissed her hair.

'I want us to have this child together.' He held her head in his hands and saw relief in her hazel eyes. No having to do this alone, he thought. The how's and why's would have to be sorted out but now was not the time for that conversation.

She sniffed. 'I thought you didn't want to do this. I thought you were going to tell me to go. It's me who wanted distracting that night, remember?' Her words tumbled out.

He laughed. 'That's true but I didn't exactly turn you down, did I? We both wanted that night but we need to deal with the consequences now. That doesn't explain why you've spent the day avoiding me and why didn't you tell me sooner, by letter?' He admonished gently.

Lydia looked down guiltily. 'I wanted to talk to you about it. I thought we would be back much sooner than we were. Instead I've been thinking about nothing else except this child and us.' He saw her eyes fill with tears again. 'I was scared. As soon as I got here, I tried to harden my heart against you then if you rejected me, us...' Her voice trailed off in the night air. Then it wouldn't hurt so much, he added silently.

'I would never have rejected you.' He kissed her lips, slowly at first but quickly escalating into a long, hot kiss that made his heart beat faster. After all eight weeks is a long time to spend away from each other, he thought.

When they broke away breathless, Lydia said. 'Take me to bed, Teagan.'

He stroked her cheek with one hand. 'Are you sure? I mean, I don't want to hurt you.'

Lydia smiled and rolled her eyes slightly 'So far only you, Wynne and Leliana know about my condition. Last night in camp, Wynne made it quite clear that it would be safe for 'you and your young man to indulge', as she put it. Unfortunately, Alistair overheard. Wynne managed to convince him we were talking about cheese I think. His reverie about Redcliffe brie was most enlightening.'

'In that case, let's go and indulge, my darling and I'm certainly not talking about cheese.' He winked at her as they walked to the door.

'I hope you know where there's a spare key?'

'We don't need a spare key. I have the original.' He sat on the bench and began taking his boot off.

'But I saw you throw it in the water!' Lydia said surprised.

'You saw me throw _something_ in the water. As a rogue, you should know that what you think you see is not always what's right in front of you.' Teagan pulled his boot off, put his hand underneath as he tipped it up and the key bounced off the palm of his hand and went skittering across the floor.

'Uh oh, now I need to find it...'


	2. Chapter 2

_I have been absolutely stunned at the feedback, reviews, favs and alerts this story and as a result the original story has had. Amazed in fact. So I thought I better warn you, this chapter is more angsty but also more sexy than the last chapter, hence the M rating. There's some tough talks to have with various people! To my wonderful beta reader Erynnar who rocks (as do her stories 'The First cut is Always the Deepest', 'Soulmates' and 'Whispering Sighs of the Blade') Thank you so much for fitting it in your v. busy schedule! _

**Chapter 2: Uncomfortable Truths**

'_The truth is rarely pure and never simple.' Oscar Wilde _

**Teagan**

'You did _what_?' Eamon's face was red with anger and he sat up in bed, moving the estates papers out of the way.

'Lydia Cousland is carrying my child. Our child.' Teagan heard his voice so chill and tight. His brother may only have been seven years older than his thirty eight years, but Eamon still had a way of making him feel like a child. He would not be talked down to on this matter.

'I see. Would it have killed you to have waited? After all, you've slept with enough whores in your time and managed not to knock them up. So why Lydia?' Eamon scoffed.

'Brother!' His voice rose 'You go too far. Do not speak of Lydia as if she were a common prostitute!' Teagan stood from sitting next to Eamon's bed and stared out of the window, his back to his brother.

'Then why treat her as if she were one?' Teagan heard him sweep the papers off the bed and onto the floor.

'She was upset about Isolde and had to defend her stance to Alistair. We talked and, well –'

'One thing led to another. How very noble of you.' Eamon's voice was bitter. Teagan heard his brother snort and anger flared up in his chest. He turned to face his brother remembering past conversations, motives allowed to fester far too long.

'Don't go there. I still remember what you told me when you first met Isolde. You're no innocent.' As soon as the words were out of Teagan's mouth he regretted them.

His brother had moved to the edge of the bed with his feet on the floor and at mention of his wife's name, he sagged as if hit in the chest. Teagan rubbed his face with both hands and tried to lose the angry edge to his voice.

'Eamon, it was not so long ago you wanted me to marry Lydia.'

Eamon's face was lined with worry and pain. 'Marry her, yes but not impregnate her with a bastard child!'

'Eamon, enough please. This child will not be a bastard.'

Eamon narrowed his eyes, his gaze falling on his brother. 'So you're going to marry her? Then I'll let you explain to the Revered Mother why your bride-to-be has a swollen belly! Do not expect me to be there while you trample the Guerrin name to dust.'

Teagan took a last look at his brother and walked out of the bedroom, slamming the door on the way out.

#=#=#

**Alistair**

Alistair and the rest of the group had been sat round the large fireplace in the Great Hall after lunch. They were due to have another day of rest and to move on the following day or at least that's what Lydia said. Alistair had the dog's head on his knee and was absent-mindedly scratching the dog behind the ears while Angus closed his eyes.

Alistair wasn't stupid; he knew something was going on. Lydia was still a good leader but at night she barely spoke to him anymore. He used to have a close friend who was a grey warden. They would talk at night by the fire, watching the embers die down. Now she barely wanted to spend time in his company, it was always Leliana or Wynne she was with. He'd never been so lonely since he was first at the Chantry. He knew it was something to do with Teagan. That train of thought led to the memory of Teagan kissing her the last time they'd left Redcliffe. How he'd kissed her. He knew Teagan and Lydia had slept together the night that Isolde died and last night as well. That's when he realised the palm of his left hand was hurting because he had been digging his nails in. _Jealousy is such an ugly word but I can't help the way I feel for her_, he thought. The previous night he had gone to Redcliffe tavern and got so steaming drunk that Leliana and Zevran had dragged him back to the castle. The headache was still with him, a reminder that he made a miserable drunk.

He glanced at Lydia and she seemed nervous, unlike the woman he'd grown to care about. He caught her eye and smiled slightly and she immediately turned away from him and said to the group, 'Can I have your attention please?' She had a commanding presence when she was leading them and the group had such respect for her that when she asked that they listen, they did_. Another reason she's the group leader and not me_.

'I have something to tell you and there's no easy way to say this.' Alistair watched as she made sure they were all listening to her. 'I'm pregnant.'

He felt as though he had lost the ability to breathe while the group either congratulated her or looked on in astonishment or scorn, in the case of Sten. Alistair watched the group as if he weren't in his own body, as if he were a distant spectator. _She's gone_, he thought_._ With that thought, he had the impression of him rushing back into his own body and thought he would collapse with the intensity of all the sensations he felt. Maker's breath, he wasn't sure what to do but he had to do something and _now_. In one fluid movement he stood, grabbing her arm and almost wrenching her out of the chair.

'A word. In private.'

'Alistair, be careful!' He heard Wynne exclaim.

'No, Wynne I'm fine.' Lydia met his eyes, her expression of understanding nearly stopping him. _Don't lose the anger_, he thought.

Alistair dropped her arm and motioned towards the door that he'd seen Lydia and Teagan disappear through the night before. The irony was not lost on him. They walked out on the balcony, Alistair slamming the door behind him.

'Don't expect congratulations, you'll get none from me!' He bellowed.

'Alistair, please don't take this badly.' She pleaded.

'Take this badly! How else do you want me to take it? The only other grey warden in all of Ferelden is with child during a _Blight_.' He dragged a hand through his hair in an irritated movement.

'Alistair, I didn't plan for this to happen. I didn't _wish_ for this to happen but now it has, I _want_ this child. And so does Teagan.'

A sickness overtook him, bile rising in his throat. He had known since Ostagar that Lydia was the woman he wanted to be with. This was the last thing he wanted to hear.

'And what about this large dragony-type Archdemon thing we have to kill?' Alistair was waving his arms to emphasise his point and stuttering in his anger. 'Or in your attempt to play happy families with Teagan, had you forgotten about that?'

Lydia walked over to the stone bench and sat heavily down.

'And then there's the Taint. That may affect the child and no-one knows in what way. Just when were you going to tell him about that, hmm?' He saw her eyes fill with tears. That had obviously hit home.

'I am going to tell him as soon as I can.' Her voice was hesitant and low, eyes down.

Alistair turned away from Lydia, not wanting to see the pain in her face. He had to ask. 'You slept with him the night after Isolde was killed, yes?'

'Not that it's any of your damn business but yes.' He heard her sound of disgust and the hard words she shot back at him. 'I seem to recall a certain ex-templar was too busy yelling at me to bother being my friend.'

Her words stung and he caught the stone rail to steady himself.

'I don't understand. Why?' How was he to explain the way he thought about Lydia without leaving himself vulnerable?

The next thing he knew she was stood next to him. 'Not everything in life is black and white, Alistair. As much as you would love to believe it, I am not a whore for seeking comfort in another man's arms.' He looked at her and her large hazel eyes held pity for him, which hurt him more than physical violence could ever do.

She put her hand on his arm and his skin prickled under her touch.

'You have been there for me, Alistair. Please, don't back out on me now.'

Hearing her whisper, his heart beat faster. Clearing his throat, he said. 'I'm still your friend but you know that Teagan has a past? I'm concerned that he will...leave you.'

'Leave me?' She pulled her hand away from him, 'Teagan has promised to stay with me, with us. That's all I can ask of him.'

He had to say something before the moment was gone forever. Alistair put his finger gently under her chin and lifted it so she was looking in his eyes. 'If that had been me and you, I would have married you, no matter what.' The tears that had been threatening to overwhelm her since they started to talk began to roll down her cheeks. Alistair kissed Lydia softly on the forehead, _a kiss between friends_, he told himself. He wrapped his arms round her, stroking her hair while she cried hopelessly into his chest.

#=#=#

**Lydia**

Lydia was sat on the stone bench when it started to rain. Alistair had left not long before and she wanted time to be by herself, a precious commodity in camp and castle. She sighed and looked out towards Redcliffe, remembering the fight in the town a few months earlier that she had led. She had been scared then, but adrenaline and instinct kicked in. She knew what needed to be done and made sure her party knew what part each of them had to play. It was the same at the Circle of Magi, fighting the maleficar and when they retrieved the Urn of Sacred Ashes. She was a decent leader and she organised their party well, even if she said so herself.

She put her hand on her belly. The babe would be barely the size of her thumbnail at this point yet she was so scared of this child growing inside her. Like her parents deaths, it was something she had no control over. Her eyes filled with tears again when she thought of her parents dying. They had wanted her and Teagan to be together but not like this. Despite what Teagan had said, this was her fault. If she had not asked for his company that night, none of this would have happened.

'Lydia, what are you doing out here?' Teagan sat next to her and put a hand in hers. He rubbed his thumb up the centre of her palm and she shivered slightly.

'I needed some time to think.'

'In the rain?' He plucked the cotton shirt on her arm and that was when she noticed how transparent it had become, how drenched she was.

'Well, it seemed logical at the time.' Lydia half-smiled and shrugged. Teagan laughed.

'So do you want to say what you were thinking about or do I have to use my own torturous methods on you?' He smiled at her, a sexy come-on that gave her butterflies in her stomach.

'I was wondering... Are we doing the right thing?' She knew the answer but needed to hear it from him.

His brown eyes gazed at her 'You mean with the baby? I think we are.'

He hesitated a moment then asked, 'How did your talk with Alistair go?'

'He told you?' Lydia asked. He nodded.

'It could have gone better. And your talk with your brother?' Lydia watched him glance down at their hands joined together.

'That also could have gone better than it did. In fact, had he been a younger man I would have hit him for some of the things he said.' She could hear the anger in his voice, didn't need to look at him to see his rage with Eamon.

'Sorry Teagan, I never meant for this to happen.' She said gently.

'Lydia, this is not the way I wanted things to be between us but now this has happened, I –'

She interrupted.

'Don't say or promise anything unless you truly mean it.' She wasn't sure where that came from but she didn't want him to feel pressured into anything.

He sounded angry when he spoke

'Do you think I pity you? Makers breath, Lydia. I didn't fall out with my brother only to have you shove me away as well!' His anger peaked and he let out a breath.

'Oh Teagan! I'm not rejecting you; I just didn't want you to feel you were being forced into having a child with me purely down to society's expectations.' They both knew what noble 'society' would expect from them and although they had their families' names, the situation they found themselves in was not a normal one.

'I'm sorry my dear, sweet Lydia. My anger is with my brother and not you. As he has said many times over the years, no-one can make me do anything I don't want to do.' Teagan lifted their entwined hands to his mouth and kissed her knuckles. She shivered but this time it had more to do with the cold rain.

'Come on, you need to get changed out of your wet clothes.' He stood up and Lydia followed.

She faced him and playfully said 'You're always desperate to get me out of my clothes!'

'This time I have a good reason, you wilful woman!' She let go of his hand and moved forward, her hands on his chest. With the wet shirt under her fingertips, she heard his breathing catch in his throat as her a finger roamed over his nipple. Moulding her body to his, she put a hand on the back of his neck as she kissed his lips, grazing her teeth against his lips. She knew exactly how vulnerable she could make him from their few times together. She used her hip bone and pressed against his erection. That was obviously his breaking point.

'Makers breath, will you not give up?' He looked at her, lust in his eyes.

'Never.' Her hands roamed round his narrow waist and under his shirt rubbing her nails against his skin.

'You always go for the skin before me.' His voice was husky as her nails kept roaming and scratching his skin.

'Not last night I didn't. I seem to recall someone not too far away pushing me up against the wall and stripping me before I had time to blink!'

'That was different. It had been two months since I'd seen you and with you making me wait all day... .'

'Then perhaps I should make you wait again.' Lydia pulled her hands away from his body and he caught a hand, pulling her towards the door.

A few minutes later, Lydia sat in his room, wet clothes hanging to dry next to the fire and a dressing gown on.

'You've had the good sense to get out of your clothes already, I see.' Teagan had some towels and a hairbrush in his hand. He handed her the brush.

'Did Leliana give you this?' she asked, weighing up the brush. He nodded. She would know exactly why Teagan would need it and as Leliana had problems keeping things to herself, Lydia would have nothing but knowing looks from the group. Andraste's holy knickers, with today's announcement she would be getting nothing but knowing looks for months to come. She began to brush her soaking hair, holding it at the top in one hand and dragging the brush down with the other.

'Here, let me.' Teagan used the towel gently drying her hair, rubbing her hair slowly down the mane in his hand and over her head, massaging her scalp with his fingers as he went.

'That's lovely.' She said after a few minutes 'but it's not getting you out of your wet shirt and trousers.'

He kissed her on the side of her face moving to kiss her lips.

'I was more concerned with the mother of my child not catching a fever.' He put his hand to her stomach.

Lydia's stomach flipped when he said 'mother of my child' but tried to ignore it for now. That was something to keep hold of when Teagan was not there with her, on those lonely nights on the road.

'Your kind concern is duly noted ser, but you'll not be any good to the people of Rainsfere or Arl Eamon if you're ill as well.' Lydia quickly tied her hair into a long plait over one shoulder and saw him grimace at the mention of his brother but loosened the laces on the top of his shirt and pulled it over his head. She never got used to his muscular torso, something that wasn't obvious when he was clothed.

His fingers moved to the waistband of his trousers and she touched him on the top of the arm.

'Allow me.' She ran her fingers down the line of chest hair leading to his waist and knelt down in front of him. She unlaced his trousers, pulling them broadside and pushing them down over his narrow hips. They fell to the floor and he stepped out of them. That was when she noticed that he was erect again. It hadn't taken him long. She grabbed a towel from the bed and he looked mildly disappointed when she stood back up again.

'You now have more on than me. I intend to remedy that.' He said lasciviously as he took the towel from her, putting it over his shoulder. He deftly untied the dressing gown and pushed her gown over each shoulder as she let it fall to the floor. His fingers expertly found the end of her breast band and quickly unwrapped her body. She gasped when he rubbed a calloused thumb across her reddened nipple. She knew her breasts were more sensitive but had not realised just how much until his touch against them. While he was distracted, she stole the towel from his shoulder.

'I think it's time for you to get dried off, don't you think?' She began to rub the towel over the top half of his body, letting the towel glance against his nipples now and then. She moved further down his body, drying his legs, thighs and the sensitive skin at the top of the thighs and between his legs. She heard him moan slightly as she rubbed his enclosed penis with her hand.

'I think you should take this off.' She put a finger under the band of his small clothes and seemingly accidentally, brushed the head of his penis with her finger.

'You're a cruel woman, Lydia.' His voice was low but he did as she commanded and pulled them off, revealing his erection fully.

She knew she was getting wet already and although she still felt slightly sore from the previous night, she didn't care. Even though he accused her of being cruel, she was no tease. She knelt in front of him and put her hand round the base. Using her tongue, she began lapping slowly at the head of his penis. She felt him trying to push her head further down.

'Patience, Teagan. It's my way or you get nothing at all.' She said in a low strong voice. She knew it turned him on as he throbbed against her hand.

'Not fair.' He looked seriously at her but his eyes were smiling at her.

She smiled as she took the top of his head into her mouth, still licking round the edge. Pushing her hand slowly up and down, she took him further in. Her teeth grazed against the head and she heard his growl.

'Please, I want you.'

She stood in front of him, pushing him down on the edge of the bed. She hooked both thumbs under her small clothes, pulling them down and kicking them off.

He held a hand out to her, pulling her close. He put his arms round her and said 'Beautiful, you are absolutely..' he whispered, taking a breast greedily into his mouth flicking her nipple with his tongue. She gasped at the intensity of teeth and tongue, turning her on so much. She moved his legs closer together and moving a leg around him, she perched on him. They kissed as he entered her, his length still a shock. She used her leg on the ground to give her purchase as they moved together. He stopped and she tried to carry on but he pushed her down, grinding into her.

'Why have you stopped?' Lydia asked.

'Because it's my turn to be in control.' Teagan kissed her, biting her lips and hearing her moans of pleasure. He moved to her nipples, sucking hard. He moved a hand between their bodies to where they joined. He felt her core and moved backwards and forwards across it roughly with his thumb. That was too much for Lydia and she came, not caring who heard her cries. When Teagan felt her muscles contract, it was not long before he groaned and climaxed. They stayed that way for a moment, their bodies wrapped round each other before Teagan pulled her down on the bed.

'You exhaust me Lydia.' Teagan said, kissing her on the mouth.

'I forget I'm with a much older man.'

'Enough of the much older. I'm fifteen years older than you.'

'You could have been my husband.' she laughed.

'I still could be.' Teagan looked at her and he saw her eyes fill with tears.

'Teagan, there's something you should know about grey warden's. Something that could affect this child.'

#=#=#

**Teagan**

The velvet blue night sky shone with stars as Teagan sat on the window seat in his bedroom. He was wide awake and unable to sleep. He heard Lydia's breathing as she slept on her side, facing towards him. There had been moments he thought she was awake, watching him but she slept quietly, not noticing his absence from the bed. He knew she was exhausted. It had been a long two days for both of them. And today had been especially wearying, with the conversations they'd both had about their relationship and the child she was expecting. She needed to tell the group, so they could protect her from being attacked. Meanwhile, Teagan wished he had not told his brother, especially so soon after Isolde's death but he didn't want Eamon to find out by accident. Not long after he awoke, he had gone to get a cup of tea from the kitchens and as he walked past Eamon's room, a sliver of light was present under his door. For one wild moment he got the urge to knock on his door, see if his brother awake as well, just to talk to him. But he knew that if Eamon was awake, their talk would have been part of the reason for his brother's insomnia. He didn't want to start another row, so he continued down to the kitchen.

Then there had been the conversation he had with Lydia, about her being a grey warden. He knew she was holding something back but he knew that theirs was a clandestine organisation and as such she would be sworn to protect their secrets. He was surprised about her having the taint and her shortened lifespan but how long any of them would live if this was a Blight and the grey wardens could not stop it were unknown. They, like many other people whose relationships started during a war situation, would have to take each day as it comes. None of them knew what the future would hold. Lydia was also concerned that the taint would affect the health of the child or prevent her from carrying to full term, but she had only been a warden for a few months and she was young and strong. He had a gut feeling that the taint would be the least of their problems.

'Teagan?' She sounded scared, he noticed. Her eyes were open and had yet to adjust to the darkness.

'Lydia, I'll get back into bed.' He lay down next to her and she put an arm round him and her head on his chest.

'I thought you'd gone. I had a... dream.' Lydia's voice sounded so young to him. Her family dead or missing, she now had no-one to lean on. Everyone leant on her.

Teagan stroked the hair from her face.

'Gone? Never! And where would I go? We're in my room, remember?' He gave a low throaty chuckle, kissing her forehead.

'I dreamt that we had the conversation about the taint and you _left_ me.' He was sure he heard tears in her voice. He moved her off his chest and lit a candle, using a splint on the fire burning low in the grate.

'What are you up to, Teagan?' Despite her dream wrought fears, she sounded vaguely amused.

'Patience Lydia. You told me I needed patience before. Now it's your turn.'

He walked over to the chest of drawers next to the door. On top of the drawers a small wooden box stood. He opened the box, took something out and closed the lid. Sitting back on the bed, he opened the palm of his hand. There sat a gold ring, tarnished but beautiful.

'This was my mother's eternity ring. My father gave it to her when she was pregnant with me.' He looked at her earnest face, trying to comprehend exactly what he was trying to tell her. He picked up her left hand and placed the ring on her middle finger.

'Teagan, I really can't accept this!' She began to pull at the ring on her finger. Teagan stopped her by putting his hand over hers.

'I am promising you that I won't leave you and our child to be alone and this is my way of reassuring you.' He put his arm round her and she leant into him again.

'I didn't ask for your mother's ring, I just wanted to hear you tell me you'd be there for me, for us.'

'I know you didn't but it will probably be weeks before I see you again. When things become difficult, when I can't be there to hold you, think of me. I will certainly be thinking of you.' He kissed her lips, felt her tears flow and knew he had done the right thing.

#=#=#

As they drifted off to sleep, his arm round her waist, Lydia asked 'Are you still awake?'

'Vaguely.' He said sleepily.

'I wanted to tell you thank you for the ring. It's gorgeous.' She whispered.

'You're welcome.'

She paused, trying to think of how to say what she had to tell him next. A few minutes later, she whispered

'I also wanted to tell you.. I love you.'

She held her breath as he snored in return.


	3. Chapter 3

_Well, sorry for the delay in writing this chapter. I found it a toughie and RL got in the way as well. _

_My thanks to **Erynnar** and** Ladyamesindy** for beta-ing this for me. You both chased the Goblins away (And the Big Bad Wolf too!)._

_And my very special thanks to **Ladyamesindy** who allowed me to use part of her Fanfiction '**We Do What Must Be Done**_' _as back story for this she's also writing her own Teagan fic, '**Til You Return To Me Again**', both of which are great stories :)._

* * *

The group piled into Lake Calenhad mid-afternoon. Theirs had been a long journey, filled with personal quests and tiredness. Apart from Sten and Morrigan who camped outside the town, they were all glad to sleep on beds that night in the Spoiled Princess Inn. At least they would be if there were enough rooms available.

'You only have three rooms?' Lydia asked incredulously. She was exhausted due to the pregnancy which had only just started to show and was making her back hurt.

'Sorry but we've just had another party arrive right before you did. Coincidence, eh?'

Lydia bit her tongue and refused to answer.

She turned to the group. 'Alistair and Zevran, you can share. Wynne, you can have a room by yourself and Leliana and I will share a room together. Oh, and Angus,' She said to the dog, 'you can share with Alistair and Zev.'

The men complained about sharing with each other and the dog, although Angus had just been washed in the lake before they came in. Lydia ignored their bickering and turned back to the barman take the rooms and order baths and meals for them all. All of a sudden the group went quiet and she heard 'Auntie Lydia!' from the other side of the bar.

She was confused. What was Connor doing here? Then the truth hit her. He was going to the Circle. She looked to where his voice was and there stood Connor and his father. Eamon looked worn out and saddened. First, losing his wife and then Connor all within four months. She felt so sad for the man. Connor came over to Lydia and threw his arms round her waist putting his head to rest on her stomach.

'I missed you.' he muttered.

Lydia wanted to cry. She put her arms round him, running her fingers through his fine blonde hair. Would her child look like Connor at this age, she wondered.

'I missed you too Connor. I'm here now though.'

Connor looked up at her, a sweet adoring look that made her gut wrench. 'Did Uncle Teagan tell you about me going to be with the mages? Did you come to see me off?'

Lydia hated lying to a child, especially one she had grown to care for so much but she wanted him to think she cared for him. He had no mother and needed someone else.

'Of course he did, sweetheart.' Lydia answered, trying to sound plausible. She felt a hand on her shoulder and Leliana smiled her approval

'Connor. Let's go for that walk before it gets dark.' Eamon's voice almost cracked.

'Arl Eamon.' Lydia nodded at Eamon, letting her arms drop.

'Lady Cousland. My brother has come with us as well. I'm sure you will be interested to see him.' Eamon's eyes came to rest on her belly.

'Thank you.' Lydia didn't bother to correct Eamon, noticing the tinge of bitterness in his voice.

They said their goodbyes to the father and son and as soon as they were out of the front door, Lydia exhaled, not realising she'd been holding her breath.

'Wynne, he needs to see his father when he's in the tower. Please?' Lydia felt her eyes fill with tears again, not caring who saw.

Wynne sighed. 'I can't promise anything but we can always ask First Enchanter Irving. Besides I think he owes me a favour. Don't you?'

#=#=#

Once they'd sorted out rooms and packs, Lydia found out from the barman where Bann Teagan was staying. She could have had a bath but they'd waited eight weeks to see each other and she didn't want to wait any more time.

'Come in' Teagan said as she knocked on the door. She walked in.

'Bring it over – OH!' She heard his surprise as her eyes met his. He looked weary but he almost ran to meet her at the door.

He wrapped his arms round her and kissed her hard on the lips.

'I've missed you.' Teagan said, between breaths.

'You're the second person to tell me that in the last hour.' Lydia smiled at him, pushing his fallen braid behind an ear. She ran her fingers over his cheekbones, not believing either of them were together again.

'Connor I take it?' Teagan asked smiling. He kissed her fingers, using the tip of his tongue to tease her fingertips. She felt her stomach flutter as she nodded. 'I swear he's got a crush on you. And he's not the only one in this family.'

She didn't object as he took her armour off, one teasing piece at a time.

#=#=#

Later, they lay naked, her head on his chest. She wore his mother's ring on a thick chain round her neck, he noticed. She looked tired but her colour had come back. Already her breasts had grown heavier and she now had a small yet pronounced bump. He put his hand on her stomach and swore he could feel a movement. He smiled at Lydia.

'You got my letter about Connor then?' Teagan asked.

'No, I'm here for another reason. It was just coincidence I'm here at the same time as you.' She propped herself up on one arm, looking straight in his eyes. 'Connor thinks you told me about going to the tower. He ran over and hugged me. I nearly cried.'

'You're pregnant. You're supposed to be emotional.' He smiled at Lydia's response.

'If I never cry again once this baby is born, it will be too soon.'

Teagan ran a finger down his lover's face, kissing her lips with the tips of his fingers.

'Connor needs you there when he goes to the tower tomorrow.'

Lydia shook her head. 'No, he needs his father and uncle. Not a woman he's barely met and who had his mother killed.'

'I disagree. He adores you. And you didn't kill Isolde, not personally. Eamon knows that. I'll ask him tonight.' He silenced her response with a kiss.

#=#=#

That night at supper, Eamon and Teagan ate with the group, Connor having already eaten and gone to bed. Mood wise, their group was mixed. Eamon barely ate and although he tried to be friendly, his heart wasn't in it. Wynne sat next to him and talked about her more positive experiences in the tower. At first, Lydia frowned at the mage, thinking it wouldn't be a good idea but he obviously needed to talk and it seemed to ease his worries about Connor's future. Wynne even gave the brothers a letter she had written asking if they wouldn't mind delivering it to Irving. While Eamon blanched slightly at the thought of being a delivery boy, Teagan took the letter and agreed wholeheartedly. Lydia had told Teagan of the request she had made of Wynne and guessed what the letter was.

As the evening wore on, Lydia began to feel queasy with the warm air and the smell of the ale. She went outside for some fresh air. As she was standing next to the shoreline listening to the lapping of the water on the edge of the lake, she jumped when she heard someone almost appear next to her.

'Lake Calenhad. Named after the original king of the Theirin bloodline and Alistair's distant relative.' Eamon's gravelly voice made her jump. He was the last person she expected to be speaking to her. Teagan and Eamon were on uneasy speaking terms again, mainly for Connor's sake but what happened when Connor left? 'But I expect as a Teryn's daughter, you know this.'

Lydia crossed her arms, trying to stop the chill wind from making her any colder.

'Here.' Eamon put his cloak round her shoulders.

'Thank you, Arl Eamon.' Lydia pulled the cloak closed, surprised at the kind gesture.

'I think my brother would have something to say if the woman he loved caught a cold and I stood by not offering my cloak. It is the very least I can do for the Champion of Redcliffe. And it's Eamon, please.'

Lydia blinked. The woman he _loved_? Teagan had never said that to her and the only time she'd said the L word, he was asleep.

'Eamon it is then.'

'I know this isn't what you or my brother planned. Connor was not planned and I'm sure in this time of Blight and war, your child will not be the only one conceived out of wedlock.'

'I know it won't. However that doesn't make it easier to bear, to know if my parents were alive this would shame them.' Lydia felt at ease with this man although she was not sure why.

'I take it they told you about how they met?' Eamon's voice lowered.

'Yes, my mother was betrothed to my father's older brother. He died and she ended up marrying my father instead. I know I had a brother, older than Fergus but he died as a baby.' Lydia wondered where Eamon was headed with this.

'Your father once told me what really happened. Your mother and father had a child together and they were only handfasted at the time.'

'I never knew that.' Lydia's eyes filled with tears. _Again! Maker's breathe when am I to stop crying! _She thought.

Eamon put his hand on her shoulder. 'I'm sure they meant to tell you when they thought the time was right. I'm sure they would never have knowingly kept you in the dark, Lydia.' Eamon sighed. 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry. What I'm trying to say is that I think you have no need to worry about shaming your parents. I knew Bryce Cousland and he was very proud of his children. As to your condition, well their situation was similar in some ways to yours.'

'I am sorry about your wife. It was never a decision I made lightly.' Lydia said, glancing at him, his shoulders slumping at the mention of his wife.

'I understand. And Isolde could be _very_ persuasive when she wanted to be.' Eamon's eyes glanced towards the Circle Tower. 'I know she wanted to stop Connor going to the tower but I wonder if that was more for her benefit than his.'

'Teagan told me she was a protective mother.'

Eamon snorted. 'Overprotective. It was the cause of many arguments between us, which grew worse as he grew older. Yet I loved her. I think that's what Connor misses more than anything, a mother figure. That's why...that's why I want you there tomorrow when he goes to the tower. I understand he grew very fond of you when I was unconscious. No matter your methods, you saved my son from a powerful demon. He thinks the world of you.'

'I take it Teagan asked you.' Lydia knew she'd been backed into a corner.

'He did and I was surprised he asked but his reasons are right. And I know Connor would be glad you are there to see him off.'

Lydia hated feeling pressured into anything and as a Teryn's daughter, she recognised manoeuvring when she saw it. Yet she wanted to be there for Connor and Teagan at the very least. And she felt she owed Arl Eamon more than just empty apologies.

'Very well, I'll go with you.'

The rest of the party were in the bar when they came back into the inn. Lydia kissed Teagan, telling him her decision and told him to stay in the bar with his brother for a while. The brothers needed to talk.

As she walked down the passageway to the room she would be sharing with Teagan, she heard crying coming from the room that Eamon and his son were staying in. Knowing Eamon was still in the bar, she opened the door.

'Connor?'

The boy stopped crying. 'Auntie Lydia?'

Leaving the door ajar, Lydia walked into the room and knelt down next to the bed.

'What's wrong?' Lydia swept his hair out of his eyes. Judging by how clammy and damp his skin felt, she knew he had been crying for a while.

'I had a nightmare.' He sniffed.

'Do you want me to get your father?' Lydia asked.

'No – my mother used to hug me and sing me to sleep after bad dreams.' Connor looked at her hopefully.

'Ah. I take it you'd like me to sing you to sleep? I can't sing, sweetheart but I can certainly stay with you until you fall asleep.' Lydia sat up on the bed and Connor put his head on her stomach, his arms round her.

They sat in companionable silence until Connor said 'Is it true you're going to marry my uncle Teagan?'

Lydia stroked the back of his head. 'Where did you hear that, Connor?'

'My father and uncle Teagan were talking about it yesterday. They were in the study and my father said that you and him had to marry.'

From the mouths of babes, thought Lydia wryly. 'Ah, so we have a nosy parker in the Guerrin family, do we?' Lydia nipped his nose between her fingers, pretending to steal his nose. Connor giggled, a sound that made her stomach drop. He's only a _child_! Why did they have to send him away?

'They left the door partly open.' Connor's voice was small, and Lydia smiled as she remembered the times she and Fergus listened outside of her father's study at Highever.

'Why did you ask about your uncle and me? Would you like me to be your auntie for real?' She wasn't going to be the one to tell him about _why_ society thought they should marry. Far be it from her to tell him.

Connor's eyes lit up. 'You mean marry uncle Teagan?'

'We shall see. Let's try to get some sleep, shall we?' Lydia tucked him in and stroked his hair as she sat next to the bed again. She kissed his forehead.

'Goodnight Connor. Sleep tight and don't let the –'

'- bedbugs bite.' Connor finished off.

#=#=#

The following morning, Connor said his goodbyes to everyone in the group. Angus sensed that his playmate was leaving and he rolled over to have his tummy tickled. Connor scratched his belly then hugged the dog, which made Leliana and Lydia teary-eyed. As much as she hated to admit it, Eamon was right. Connor's life had been too overprotected. Perhaps this would make the young boy stand up for himself and give him a chance to make friends. Teagan had told her that Isolde wouldn't let Connor mix with the other children whose parents worked at Redcliffe Castle. She told him as heir of Redcliffe, he shouldn't play with children of a lower class. Lydia remembered her childhood. If they'd not mix with the other children of Highever, they wouldn't have seen barely any other children, from one year to the next.

The group left, Alistair leading with promises of not leading everyone off a cliff. They were to go and find Sten's sword if it were possible. Lydia felt a twinge of guilt as she saw the dour Qunari meet up with the rest of the group. She had promised him _she _would find the sword. Teagan squeezed her hand as they made their way up the jetty. They could only fit two people in the boat with the luggage so Teagan and Lydia went first. Eamon wanted to speak to his son alone.

Teagan got down into the shallow craft and helped her into the boat. They sat next to one another as the boatman rode them across the misty lake.

'You seem awfully quiet today, are you feeling sick or in pain?' Teagan asked.

Lydia smiled as his concern. 'I'm fine honestly. I'm just worried about Connor and the effect this will have on Eamon.'

'He's coming round to the idea. And he knows it for the best, there was no way he would be able to keep Connor protected from the Chantry.' Teagan looked out onto the lake, hearing nothing but the dip and glide of the oars.

'I'm amazed you managed to keep the Chantry away for this long.'

'Mother Hannah is a family friend and a healthy donation to Chantry funds goes a long way but even her patience would have been stretched had anything else happened whilst Connor was still in the castle.'

They arrived on the island and they watched silently as the boat left the jetty to fetch Connor and Eamon. Lydia turned to face the imposing Circle Tower, the gilded prison of being a mage.

'I take it this doesn't bring back good memories?' He said, seeing the painful recollections writ large on her face.

'Not wonderful memories, no. A lot of good men and women died unnecessarily, all for the greed of one mage.'

Teagan put an arm round her waist and said 'If you'd rather not go in, that would be fine.'

'Not with me it wouldn't be, I said I would come with you all and I'm doing just that.' Lydia's fierce voice surprised Teagan.

'I just didn't want you to suffer stress, it might not be good for either of you.' As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he knew it was the wrong thing to say.

'I'm pregnant not ill, stop treating me like an invalid!' Lydia strode over to the end of the jetty to await the boat's return.

#=#=#

'Ah, warden. A pleasure to see you again.' Knight Commander Greagoir sounded as if he almost meant what he said, Lydia noted.

'Greagoir. We're here to see First Enchanter Irving.' Lydia motioned at Connor stood next to her. He looked overawed at the templar's in their plate armour.

'Of course. Cullen!' Greagoir turned round to call for the templar they had encountered on their last trip.

'Yes ser!' Cullen arrived quickly.

'Escort the warden and her guests to the First Enchanter's study. I believe he is expecting them.'

'If you'll come this way, warden.' Cullen's eyes dropped to her expanded stomach. In spite of the fact she barely knew this man, she blushed, and her hand glancing over the armour which had been made to fit her.

Cullen gave her a hard look and stalked up the corridor leading them to the office. On their way, she felt a small hand in hers and she gave it a squeeze. She looked down at Connor, who was much paler and she smiled at him. She knew he wanted to run away. Faced with what he had to face now after years of being protected, she couldn't blame him

When they reached the office, Lydia said 'Thank you Cullen.'

'Very well.' And he turned and walked off, his back exuding hatred.

She knocked on Irving's door and walked in.

'Warden, an unexpected pleasure. What brings you here?'

Eamon found his voice then 'My son is to join the Circle, First Enchanter.'

'Arl Eamon, a pleasure to meet you.' Irving shook the Arl's hand 'And this must be Connor, who I've heard so much about.'

Irving stared at the boy in the way he had of scrutinizing someone, yet his face was kindly. Connor looked up at Irving as he held Lydia's hand.

'I've asked Petra to join us. She looks after the children in the tower.'

'Of course, First Enchanter. '

'Wynne asked me to give you this. I'm Bann Teagan, Connor's uncle.' Teagan handed the letter over to the First Enchanter.

Just then, Petra joined them.

'Apologies for the delay First Enchanter.' Petra said breathlessly.

'Quite alright, my dear. You remember Lydia the grey warden, don't you?'

'Of course I remember! The Circle owes you such a lot. And how is Wynne these days?' Petra smiled, remembering her old trainer.

'She's doling out tea and advice in equal measure.' The two women grinned in understanding.

'I'm sure. And who do we have here?' Petra noticed Connor properly.

'I'm Connor Guerrin.'

'Well, Connor Guerrin, why don't you say your goodbyes and come with me and I'll show you where you'll be living.'

'If I can have a word Petra, excuse us a moment.' Irving walked out of the room, Wynne's open letter in hand and Petra closed the door behind them.

Lydia raised her eyebrows at Teagan but they said nothing in front of Connor, not wanting to raise his hopes.

Eamon looked surprised when Connor walked over and hugged his father. They had not hugged since Connor was a very young child. Teagan walked over to Lydia, whose eyes were already beginning to fill with tears. He put his arm round her waist and kissed her on the cheek.

Teagan's turn was next, he bent forward and hugged his nephew. When it was Lydia's turn, she knelt down in front of him and kissed his cheek.

'Goodbye Auntie Lydia.'

'Goodbye Connor. And never forget what I told you about your mother. You have a great talent. Make her proud, sweetheart.' Lydia tried to stop it but the tears ran down her cheeks as Connor nodded.

Petra and Irving came back into the room.

'Well Connor have you said your goodbyes?' Petra asked.

'Yes.' He pulled away from Lydia.

'Good. I'll show you where you sleep with the other children.' Connor gave his father one last look and walked after Petra.

Once the door closed, Irving sat behind his desk and motioned for his guests to sit.

'I did not want to say anything in front of Connor for now but in Wynne's letter she explained what happened with Connor, his circumstances which I admit are exceptional. Due to what happened with his mother, she asked that you may visit Connor' He motioned at Eamon. 'once every six months and that you may write to each other, one letter per month each.'

'Thank you, First Enchanter.' Eamon looked surprised and shocked. They all expected that to be the last time they saw Connor.

He put a hand up to stop Eamon 'Don't thank me, it is Wynne you should be thanking. And I believe Lydia her part to play in this as well.' The two men looked at Lydia and she looked down.

'To a degree although Wynne agreed to the letter. She came up with the terms herself.'

'And like many women who have men wrapped round their little finger, Wynne knew I would barely refuse her and our warden, who have both done so much for the Circle.'

#=#=#

The rest of the time spent at the Tower went in a blur for them. Lydia's emotions were frayed and felt she sensed Eamon's mood much more strongly. She did wonder if it was due to being pregnant as this never happened previously. When they left the tower, they travelled back to Lake Calenhad and while Eamon went to his room, Teagan and Lydia went for a walk.

They walked away from town round the edge of the lake. The mist that hung on the lake earlier that day had disappeared but the air remained cold. Teagan could tell Lydia was affected by Connor leaving, he'd seen the tears running down her face and wanted to bring her mood up. He was sad to see his nephew go but knew he was in the right place.

They sat down on a fallen tree, silent but needing to speak. Teagan had to find a way to bring her out of herself.

'Eamon told me something interesting last night. Do you ever remember coming to Redcliffe when you were a child?'

'Once.' Lydia looked at him and put her hands to her face a deep red. 'Maker no, that was _you_?'

'That was me, the man who tried to teach your brother ride only to find the person who learnt was the little girl who'd been watching at the edge of the paddock'

Lydia grinned at the memory. 'When Fergus had had enough trying to jump, I told you I could do that just as well as my brother.'

'And before I knew it, the girl with the pigtails who'd been watching me train her brother, got on the horse he'd just got off and galloped round the courtyard before taking all of the jumps perfectly.' Teagan smiled at her.

'You were scared!' She laughed.

'Your mother would have skinned me alive had you'd fallen!'

'What was the problem? I didn't fall, I knew I could do it.'

'Ever the confident woman. And then when you got home to Highever, you told your parents that when you grew up you were going to marry me. Your mother sent Isolde a letter telling her. It was a joke between me and Eamon for a good few months.' Teagan looked at Lydia, still blushing red. They both went quiet for a while, remembering a time that was simpler for both of them.

'So tomorrow, I take it you'll be heading off with the rest of the group and I'll see you whenever I see you.' Teagan tried not to let the bitterness seep into his voice.

'This isn't what I wanted for us.' Lydia said in a low sad tone. So much for cheering her up.

'Me neither. I've spent the last eight weeks while we've been apart trying not to think about you, what you were doing, if you were hurt and I failed, dismally. I would wake up after dreaming you were in my arms to a cold and lonely bed.' He had to tell her.

Lydia's eyes went large. 'And there were times I woke up crying, thinking you'd left me.'

He reached out to hold her hand, feeling the rough lines of cuts on her skin.

'We need to be with each other, this is madness.' He muttered.

'I agree but you have your duty and I have mine. The Blight won't stop happening just because we want to be together.'

'I wouldn't ask you to give up being a warden. I know it's not possible. But as for my duty, my seneschal is looking after things for me at Rainsfere, doing a much better job than I can, in fact. He doesn't need me.'

'We can't be together, not the way we want to. Anything could happen. We could be set upon by Darkspawn tomorrow and not survive!'

'Don't say that. What happens when our child is born. What then?'

'I'm not thinking that far ahead.' Her voice was low and at the edge of tears again.

'It's time to think about it. We have some choices to make.' Teagan put his arm round her, feeling her shiver in the cold wind.

'And what happens if we make plans and build a future together and it all gets blown apart, by the Blight?' He saw her eyes fill with tears and wiped her cheek dry with his thumb. He kissed her forehead.

'Then we will deal with it, but not living because you're scared to be happy is such a sad way to live.' Teagan held her as she gave into tears again.

A while later, after she had calmed down Lydia said. 'I think we should go back and see how your brother is and if Sten has his sword.' Lydia stood up and Teagan grabbed her hand.

'No! For once I want you to myself. This is what I'm talking about. It's always about everyone else.' He could hear his own voice sound churlish. No other woman had ever provoked such extreme reactions in him.

'You're a man not a child, Teagan. Start acting like one!' Lydia spun on her heel and strutted away.

Teagan stood up and shouted 'Well, think on this next time you head your thoughts my way. I want to marry you, you irritating, duty-bound woman. Dammit Lydia. I LOVE YOU!'

Lydia came to a dead-halt as Teagan walked over to her on shaky legs. That had not been the way he had planned to tell her.

'What? I don't understand. I thought you didn't _want_ to marry me?' Her voice sounded confused.

'I'm so sorry. I never meant to tell you like that but we always seem to be meeting for a day here, a night there. Tomorrow you were going to be gone away from me again. I needed to tell you how I felt. I knew if I didn't tell you now it would be another few weeks. That's time lost and we need to get to know each other better before this child is born.'

Lydia put her arms round his neck and whispered in his ear, 'Of course I'll marry you, you clumsy stubborn mule of a man. I love you too.'


	4. Chapter 4

Distraction: The truth Chapter 4

Wedding snapshots

_This is done from quite a few peoples POV. It's only supposed to be a small wedding and this is the second wedding chapter I've written in about 4 months and I wanted something different. And this is where the story goes completely AU (not that a pregnant future 'Hero of Ferelden' isn't totally AU). You have been warned!_

_Thanks to both **Erynnar** and **Ladyamesindy**, who beta'd for me. You both Rock! :)_

_

* * *

_Teagan rose early to see the sun appearing over the horizon. Without Lydia sharing his bed, he had slept badly, missing being able to put his arms round her waist and feeling their child move in her belly. But it had been decided by Leliana and Eamon that the night before their wedding, they were to sleep away from each other. Lydia argued at first but Teagan could tell by the way Leliana pursed her lips that this would be one issue that the Orlesian bard would not back down on. And there had been plenty of arguments in the last week since he had asked Lydia to marry him, all between the two women. Lydia wanted things plain and unfussy. Leliana wanted everything the Orlesian way – bright colours, particular hair do's and lots of flowers. As it was, the dressmaker was rushing to get the dress finished, a plain ivory dress made to Lydia's specifications. If everything that the bard wanted was added to the dress, it would be another week alone before the dress was finished, a week they just did not have.

He dressed and made his way downstairs for breakfast. He wanted a hearty meal in him before his next difficult conversation. He almost wished it was about Orlesian trimmings or flowers in the hair. Maker knows it was going to be easier than what he had to say.

#=#=#

When Wynne helped Leliana dress Lydia in the wedding gown she'd had made for the occasion, she could not have been prouder than if it was her own daughter. Lydia was 'blooming' as the phrase went. She only wore a small amount of make-up, her skin a naturally beautiful colour. The dress itself was draped in pleats just under the breasts. There was no way she could pretend her bump was not there, which was why the seamstress had done a lovely job of emphasising her mid-term pregnancy in the long white dress. The wedding was purely for close family and friends. Teagan had promised a larger, more ornate wedding when they survived the Blight. _When_, she thought, _that's what Lydia needs with those swirling hormones of hers, sense. _She certainly had that in spades with Teagan. She smiled at her friend. Lydia had been on edge all morning, her nerves growing as the wedding hour approached. She knew that the young woman seated in front of her, had cried overnight. Without her lover to calm her nerves, she had given in to the fears that plagued her. When Wynne had knocked on her door, a plate of food in hand that she had barely picked at, Lydia's eyes were red-rimmed from crying. Wynne had never been to a wedding, there wasn't much call for marriages in the Circle tower but she knew that it was traditional for the father or another close member of the family to give the bride away. Alistair, bless him had stepped up admirably since Lydia asked him but she knew the young woman wanted family there. It was only natural.

A knock on the door made her jump slightly. After living from a tent, she had to get used to being in a building with walls and doors again. Wynne placed a hand on Lydia's shoulder as she rose slightly to go and answer the door. The elder mage opened the door and said, 'Yes?'

#=#=#

Alistair stood in front of the mirror brushing his still damp reddish-blonde hair into position. His fellow group members might tease him about his love affair with his hair, especially the women in the group, but on an important day like today, he wanted to make sure that he looked his best. He might not be ecstatic about Lydia marrying Teagan but he was glad that his Uncle was doing the right thing for his best friend. And no-one could deny they didn't love each other. That was obvious. He had seen Lydia watching Teagan as they spoke the night before and he saw the way they looked at each other. His stomach gave a lurch as he watched them. That was when he realised he was not so much been jealous of Teagan with Lydia any more, he was jealous of what they had. He wanted someone who looked at him the way Lydia looked at Teagan. That realisation surprised and pleased Alistair. He knew it would make walking Lydia down the aisle of the Chantry a much simpler concern if he didn't worry about getting angry.

Alistair realised he had been staring at his own reflection for some minutes. He had to have some food, the Grey Warden appetite was kicking in. He dressed and had a final fiddle with his hair in the mirror, when there was a knock at the door.

#=#=#

Leliana stood in the Chantry near the front. There was an odd mix of people and the smallest wedding she had ever been to. Yet it had been exactly what Teagan and Lydia had wanted. She smiled at Teagan looking nervous at the front as the Revered Mother came out. Alistair and Lydia walked down the aisle arm in arm and even though it was a small wedding, a few gasps and mutterings could be heard. As it was their friends, the gasps weren't negative. When Alistair had given his best friend away, he side-stepped into the pew next to Leliana. She smiled at him supportively and squeezed his hand. He turned to her and raised an eyebrow, blushing in surprise. She tried not to grin at his response but she found his naivety adorable. She watched Lydia and Teagan. Her friend looked amazing and even though it was the plainest dress, she was the most beautiful bride she had ever seen. Sad that the newly married couple wouldn't get to spend much time together, she thought.

'I need to speak to you soon. Alone' whispered Alistair in her ear. Now it was Leliana's turn to blush. What did the ex-templar want, she mused. She nodded, not sure she could talk quietly enough in the silence of the Chantry, with only the drone of the Revered Mother to cover her.

#=#=#

Shale wasn't sure why they were in a 'Chantry', with a group of people it barely knew, watching two people chain themselves to each other religiously. How very miserable, it thought. What if the two people hated each other? And then there was that fleshy thing that Shale had heard that couple do on the village green that time. The painted elf had tried to explain it, to say it could be 'fun'. It doubted it from the noises that were created. They had sounded like they were in pain. It assumed pain was what the whingeing warden had been in when a few darkspawn hit it once and it bled. Pah! These fleshy creatures made themselves vulnerable. In a talk with Sten one night, he said that pain could be overcome, that you could learn to ignore it. Why then did the whingeing warden yell so much when he just stubbed his toe? Shale only met the other warden, it as Shale called her to her face, a few days earlier when they came back to Redcliffe. It spent a lot of time rubbing its belly and making silly eyes at the braided man. The silly eyes were returned by the braided man but you would think he would know better, the age difference and creases on his face being obvious.

Shale saw it, the whinging warden whisper in the sister's ear and Shale rolled its eyes. It had seen it all before, whisperings and women going red and before they knew it, they were making painful noises under the statue on the village green...

#=#=#

Ever since Zevran had joined the Warden's party, it had been made blatantly clear she was _not_ available. He tried of course but she would laugh and tell him 'Sorry, no go Zev'. Just recently, as her back was starting to hurt carrying the child, she accepted his offer of a massage – with Leliana in tow. He thought his luck was in until the two women made it quite obvious that if he tried anything, if his hand should wander anywhere it shouldn't, her mabari would have an extra something for tea that night and it wouldn't be his fingers he'd be missing. He blinked, trying not to wince although he himself had committed much worse in his time with the Crows. And here they all were at a quiet wedding meal with just friends and Arl Eamon in tow. The bride and groom looked happy though every so often he caught a dark look shared between another at the table and Bann Teagan. _Interesting, an argument perhaps?_ The look was not picked up by Lydia, he noticed although she was sitting talking to Arl Eamon part of the time. The man had accepted the young woman into his family more easily than people expected. But if she had not been carrying the next Guerrin heir, he suspected his approval would have been slight. Eamon was a wily man, that one, a kingmaker and breaker. Zevran knew Alistair would be forced to accept his Uncle's notion of being King. Never mind, perhaps when all this was done Alistair would have need of someone with his...abilities. The assassin smiled to himself.

Perhaps the next time they were due to go to Denerim, it was time to take the naive Warden in hand, as it were. Zevran grinned at the unintended innuendo. It was time to visit the Pearl and sample its delights, to lose some of his...innocence, no?

#=#=#

The wedding was over, the food eaten and the guests having had plenty enough to drink but not yet enough to drink the cellars of Redcliffe dry. Altogether Lydia Guerrin felt the day had gone as well as could have been expected. Even Mother Hannah's raised eyebrows at her condition didn't bother her. She knew to expect this and as Teagan had said, it was amazing how much the Revered Mother accepted with a generous donation to Chantry coffers. She watched her friends talking, the joking of some alongside the serious nature of others a sharp contrast. What a strange group they were. And yet most of the time they got along very well, even Morrigan tried to make an effort for today. The witch felt her eyes watching and turned to meet her gaze, a twitch of a smile about her lips. Lydia and Morrigan had never been close friends not the way that she and Leliana had. Yet lately the two women had come to an understanding of each other, something Alistair could never comprehend.

'Deep in thought, wife.' Teagan said as he sat next to her, putting a hand on hers.

She smiled, sure hearing him call her his wife would never get old. 'Just thinking. It's been a good day.'

He laughed as he sipped his whisky. 'Only good? I think it's been the best day of my life so far.

'You are a romantic aren't you?' She giggled, putting her hand over her mouth. Since when had she become such a simpering female? Her mother would be proud. For once thinking about her mother didn't make her hurt the way it usually did. Her family would be very happy about her choice of husband she knew.

He leaned over and in a low tone said, 'What would you say if I were to suggest an early night?'

'I would say it has been an awfully long day. And in my condition I need my rest after all.' She smiled as she kissed him on the cheek.

They made their excuses, leaving the rest of the friends to decide what to do. The night was still fairly young after all.

As they reached his, now their bedroom door, Teagan was just about to pick her up when she put a hand on his arm. 'I think it's a bit late for that, don't you?' Lydia said.

He nodded. Instead he opened the door for her. His news could wait for the morning, no need for it to spoil their night together.

#=#=#

The following morning, the group were at breakfast when Teagan and Lydia joined them. They were due to set off for Orzammar the following day, so would spend the rest of the time packing and preparing for their journey.

Lydia sat having a cooked breakfast and toast and coffee. She was going to miss this, it was difficult to produce a cooked breakfast on the road. She was also going to miss her husband so very much more. She swallowed hard but as a Grey Warden, she knew she had a duty to Ferelden. Only once that journey was done could she rest. The group were unusually subdued. Probably tiredness and too much indulgence from the night before.

When she finished her breakfast and was helping herself to more coffee, Teagan cleared his throat.

'I have an announcement to make. As you know you will all be leaving Redcliffe tomorrow. When you do, you will have an extra party member.' Lydia looked straight at her husband, wondering who he was talking about. One of the Redcliffe knights, Ser Perth possibly, sent by Teagan to protect her?

Alistair started talking. 'This is something I have agreed with Teagan.'

Lydia felt herself growing angry. 'I see. Well, don't hold us in suspense, though I suspect from your reactions more than just Alistair and Teagan know exactly what you're talking about.' Her eyes locked on to Leliana and the bard could not meet her gaze.

'I'm coming with you.' Teagan looked at his young wife, her face flushed with anger.

Lydia stood up and began to walk out. 'Teagan, Alistair and Leliana. I need a word with you. _Now._' She turned as she reached the door.

Teagan lead them into his brother's study, closing the door behind them. Lydia stood and leant against the desk.

'How _dare_ you try and take this group off me, Alistair! You never wanted to be group leader and now I'm pregnant you think you can take the leadership off me!' She heard her harridan voice bouncing off the stone walls of the castle. She knew she should drop her voice but right at that moment she didn't care and gave no mind to who heard her.

'And as for you Leliana, I thought you were my friend! It seems I was wrong, so very wrong. Your feelings for Alistair have lead you to follow him blindly.' Alistair looked wildly between the two women. There had obviously been some discussions in the week they had been alone together.

'It wasn't like that –' Leliana started but was cut off as Lydia continued. Teagan put a hand on Lydia's arm to try to calm her down. Instead she shrugged herself free of his grasp and turned on him.

'And as for you, Teagan, I don't believe you did that! As we discussed previously, you have other commitments, other responsibilities. Your brother and Rainsfere need you! I don't want you to get hurt, what if –'

Teagan grabbed her by the top of the arms and held her in front of him. The fight went out of her some. 'As my wife, right now, YOU are my responsibility. As much as you hate it, it won't be long before you won't be able to fight. How are you to be a duelist with your stomach stopping your moves?'

'He's right, Lydia. This is the only reason I agreed to this. We need another fighter in the party.' Alistair moved across and put a hand on his friends shoulder. That was where she crumbled, her knees gave out under her and she sat heavily on a chair, her arms crossed over her belly as she cried.

'My love, Alistair doesn't want to take anything from you. But he is your second in the party. I knew you would not agree if I told you this by myself. I needed his support and that of Leliana's to tell you. You are so stubborn I knew you wouldn't agree to this if only I told you.' Teagan crouched in front of her, putting his hand on her arm.

'You know he's right Lyds. Alistair is certainly not wanting to take the leadership away from you. But as you grow into your role as a mother, you need him to look after the rest of the group.' Leliana used her nickname Fergus had for her.

'I'm the most unwilling leader, you know that Lydia but I'll lead the group, all without running them off a cliff. Or losing my pants.' Alistair heard a giggle come mid-sob.

'I agree though I should have spoken to you with Alistair and Leliana rather with the entire group. I'm sorry, that was badly done on my part.' Teagan apologised.

She lifted her head slightly 'You, you all really hurt me, you do know that? And Teagan I want to spend time with you but I don't want you to get hurt. If should happen to you, I don't know if I could forgive myself.' She rubbed her hand across her stomach and Teagan sat on the seat next to her, pulling her head onto his shoulder.

Leliana suddenly felt they were intruding on a private moment. She touched Alistair's arm and motioned for him to follow her. They could say their apologies later.

The closed the door on the two newlyweds and went out into the hallway.

'Well, that went better than expected.' Alistair said, as they walked back towards the Great Hall.

Leliana laughed, a sound that made him smile in return. 'Oh Alistair, you are funny. It went _terrible_. Only the grovelling and explanations we all did, helped rectify the situation, _non_?'

'As I say, better than expected. You know what her temper is like, only Teagan seems to make her see sense.'

Leliana shrugged and watched Alistair's reaction as she said, 'She loves him.' She smirked as his cheeks reddened slightly. She loved making him uncomfortable, it was part of his attraction for her.

Alistair cleared his throat and said, 'So in the time you and Lydia were alone together..'.

'Alistair we were hardly alone. Bann Teagan, Arl Eamon and the entire staff of Redcliffe were here also.' She grinned.

'Yes but I know what you women get up to, midnight feasts, girlie chats. In all that time did you ever talk about the rest of us, camped in the rain outside Honnleith with only a mad witch, a bird-stomping golem and a lecherous elf for company?'

'We may have spoken about a few party members.' She grinned at his eagerness.

'A few, hmm? So no-one in particular?'

'A girl has to have some secrets.' She teased.

'Really. Well I can always ask Lydia. She practically gave the game away when she was telling you off..' The voices died away as they walked round the corner.

Back in the study, Teagan kissed his wife on her head and said 'Are you sure you want me to come with you. I know I pulled a 'fait accompli' on you but if you really don't want me there..' His voice trailed off.

'I want you there but I can't deny I'm scared.' Lydia said, leaning on his shoulder.

'You're scared? I've never fought darkspawn in my life but when I married you, I agreed to take this on. You and the child you're carrying are my responsibility. Should anything happen to you and I did nothing to stop it, well I would never forgive myself.'

She sighed. 'I don't believe I lost my temper like that. I have some people to say sorry to, that's for sure.' She stood up and held her hand out to Teagan. 'Time for me to be the group leader again. Coming?'

He smiled and led her out of the room.


End file.
